i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
