all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize