What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
