i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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