i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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