yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
