dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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