He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize