I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
