He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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