I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize