No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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