Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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