i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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