Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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