standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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