don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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