Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
