Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
