This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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