Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
