update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
