We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
