clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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