It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
