i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize