i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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