My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
