doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I did not marry a roomba.
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