I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
