Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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