that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
