did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
