the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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