I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
