i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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