I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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