Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
