I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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