Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize