omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize