So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
