I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
