when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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