I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
