I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
