We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
