my mouth tastes like poor choices
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
