I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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