So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize