At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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