Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Don't make out with my wife yet
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
