Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
