so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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