I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
