Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
