dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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