if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
