you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
