So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
